2006 Playoffs Special Report

Commissioner's Note: Three-time Super Bowl champion Bush-Whacked has been asked to offer his predictions for this year's playoffs. His views do not reflect those of the Commissioner's office or the league's talent committee.     Special Team Possibly it is time to rethink the overall strategy here, I mean Starz at 11 A.M., seven pints before tee-off, twelve more beers on the course, two more on the drive home, two more while we wait for the other drafties and dozing off inbetween rounds = #1 pick for next year. Mental note to self, do not take Randy Moss with the #1 pick.   Jo-Boo's Browns Backers At what point, do we, the nine other owners in the league say enough is enough? I think 7 to 8 teams in the history of our league have scored fewer than 1,000 points in a season, but this guy has done it 4 times? Seven straight losses to close the year. Who are we kidding?!? I agree it is nice to have an automatic win when you see the schedule, but at what point is the integrity of the league more important? I say time for a new owner, and one more thing, PLEASE PLEASE be in my division next year.   The Savants Tiki + Shaun VP + Vick + 3 other has been crippled QBs + T.O. the basket case + 1 stud tight end = LOTTERY. Good work.   Schwein Fire Nice roster moves throughout the year, it take more than a draft from 6,000 miles away to compete in this league, stein. Maybe calling in one less deactivated player wouldve made the difference for you.   P.O.B.'s Pounders L.T., the single greatest fantasy football player in history, and you manage a #6 seed? Not impressed coming off a superbowl win, dont pull a Bill Cowher on us although Bill Belicheck you are not. Kitna and Favre? A host of waiting to be injured WRs? Hence a repeat... I dont think so.   The Steins Have you all seen enough of this horsecrap? How many times can they roll the dice and come up snake eyes? Again, I call bullshit. This team just cant get it done in the post season, we all know about their regular season titles, their points titles, half of all the money Tod has won for Eddie, etc, etc. They just dont have the horses this year to get it done in weeks 15 and 16. But you all know that, so it should be just 1 more week of Stein Jr running his mouth, until we dont have to hear from him till draft night. This teams draft strategy is about as solid as Joberwockys Guerilla patchwork junkies Tay-Reebs at best.   The Fat Bus They made the playoffs? Must have been that stellar pick up of Reggie Wayne. Ask yourself where this team would be had Moss been there instead of Wayne. Hhmm. Lottery. No cash prizes, and no superbowl title. This Perennial 5th-6th place finisher will be no different this year. They had less points scored against them than anyone else and they stumble to a #4 seed only. I guess if Brees can keep throwing for 500 yards a game they have a chance. Can you say Big D in primetime Sunday night?   Old Joe Where did all the Triple Crown chatter go from a few weeks back? Points title, first round bye, best record, the coveted 3rd ring? Oh, what a a difference a month makes. How many weeks can this owner scramble a viable QB? It is one thing when you are playing the Savants, but the losses against 2 playoff teams in weeks 11 and 12 hurt. McNabb will be the undoing, but they can put a scare into the early rounds of the playoffs.   Bush-Whacked Surprise, surprise. Take your best record and points titles and shove them, they mean nothing to this owner. This team drafts for weeks 15 and 16. Enough said. The team has the talent to get it done, can they manage them to another title is the question.   Gold Grill Remember when this team was .500 and on the playoff bubble? And they some how shot to first place and a bye? I guess when you get 80 combined from Carson and OchoCincoChoko, you will go on a little win streak. With 80 points a week from these 2 they have a chance, do you think that will happen? Me neither. Better luck next year.   Round 1:    The Steins over The Fat Bus in a nailbiter This one may come down to the Peyton Manning show will he throw to Marvin or Reggie? Not much else on the board to worry about here, should be a low scoring affair. Final Score: Steins 86, Bus 79.   P.O.B.'s Pounders over Old Joe, but it will close LT will go for 45, the rest of the team is good for 15. Joe is in trouble, they have a coin toss at QB and some throw ins at RB, Holt at CHI. Final Score: Pounders 60, Old Joe 58    Round 2:   Gold Grill over The Steins Wholly Monday night chisel, Cincy at Indy. Carson should have enough in this one, with a couple bombs to Choko. Dillon or Jones? Who makes the call, will the Grill stay with what got them here, or dig deep into GWs crystal ball for the answer on who to start at RB? May not matter, as the Steins have been smoke and mirrors for too long. Id make some predictions on how many points their WR will score, but Im not sure what teams they play for. Final Score: Grill 113, Steins 92   Bush-Whacked over the Pounders Chester and LT should be good for 70 in this one, but will he make the right call at Lambeau. Kitna vs. Favre to think, your season is riding on which QB you play, and its Kitna/Favre. 5 years ago it wouldve been win-win. Not today. The Whackers are coming into their own and the week 15 matchups look good. Marvin and Addai in a shootout, Brady in a rout, Ahman vs. Swiss Cheese and Randy is just flat out due. Any coincidence this is the highest scoring team in fantasy playoff history? Final Score: Bush-Whacked 117, P.O.B.'s Pounders 95    Superbowl:   Bush-Whacked over the Gold Grill Can you say title #4? Or something like that, sort of lost count. Carson and Ocho Cinco Choko at Denver? In the snow? In the cold? I have 2 words for you Champ Bailey. We all know they dont have the balls to sit Carson for the Superbowl, it should be a good game but slight edge to the whackers. Marvin and Addai at Houston? Steve Smith in Hotlanta? There is such thing as drafting for weeks 15 and 16, so stick around and maybe youll learn somethingdoubtful though, since nobody has figured it out yet. Final Score: Bush-Whacked 110, Grill 70.   Taunt you all next year.