WEEK TWO REPORT     There were a lot of close games in Week Two, with three games needing Monday Night to determine the winner. Before I recap this week's contests, I must give props to a couple of Hair Conference squads: First, T.T.M.F.N. deserves recognition for winning their game despite earning only 2 QB points! With four teams at 1-1 and due to tiebreaker rules, T.T.M.F.N. leads the Hair Conference even though they have a league worst 146 points. (Note: T.T.M.F.N. is still ranked 10th in the F.F.L. Power Rankings.) Also, St. Johns Ragin' Amies bounced back from their Week One defeat to post a week-high 113 points. Overall, the Ragin' Amies had nine touchdowns for the week, and moved up in the overall points standings as well as the power rankings.    Here are the results for Week Two:   The Pussy Willows (1-1) defeated The Fat Bus (0-2), 79-59. After losing RB Garrison Hearst in the preseason and first round draft pick QB Vinnie Testaverde in Week One, the last thing The Fat Bus needed was to lose their best remaining player. But, that is exactly what happened to them on Monday Night (can you say MNC?). RB Jamaal Anderson sprained his knee minutes into the game, and the Bus was left with a bitter 20 point defeat. Hopefully for them, Anderson's injury is not serious. The Pussy Willows maintained their dominance over The Fat Bus and now hold a 4-0 lifetime advantage over the team they now refer to as "my bitch." The Bus will need to defeat The Pussy Willows in this year's playoffs if they hope to beat them before the next milennium.     St. Johns Ragin' Amies (1-1) defeated the Chisel Squad (1-1), 113-84. For the second straight week, the Chisel Squad's starting WR Rod Smith failed to make a reception. In Week One, the Chisel Squad watched Smith injure himself early in his game, but in Week Two, the Chisel Squad simply ignored the public report from the Denver Broncos that declared Smith inactive for the game. The Ragin' Amies had balanced scoring as they cruised to their first-ever victory. We'll have to wait and see if they can continue to post these numbers if WR J.J. Stokes remains in their starting lineup. After recording back-to-back 1 point weeks, Stokes is quickly becoming the fantasy bust most experts predicted.   T.T.M.F.N. (1-1) defeated Jo-Boo's Browns Backers (1-1), 77-75. As predicted in the PRIME MONDAY UPDATETISIMO!, T.T.M.F.N. held on to their lead as the Browns Backers' Monday Night players failed to score enough points. The Backers looked like they were going to get enough last-minute yards from RB Emmitt Smith on Monday to at least pull out a draw, but the Cowboys' running back twisted an ankle and was taken out of the game in the closing minutes. The victory for T.T.M.F.N. was definitely earned by their receiving corps - who tallied 59 combined points. Everyday stiffs Mushin Muhammad and Jeff Graham each caught long touchdowns, while Johnny Morton had a deep score of his own and Jimmy Smith had big yards receiving. T.T.M.F.N. will need much better performances this season from QB Jake Plummer who scored only 2 points this week. For the season, Plummer has thrown one touchdown and seven interceptions!     Scott's "All they Know How To Do Is Score" Savants (2-0) defeated P.O.B.'s Pounders (1-1), 90-86. It was K Olindo Mare who won this game for the Savants, as he booted through 17 fantasy points. The Pounders' rookie kicker Martin Gramatica only managed 8 points. The win leaves the Savants as one of only two teams still undefeated in the league. The other 2-0 team is Randy's Rocket, who the Savants face in Week Three.  P.O.B.'s Pounders' 86 points was enough to keep them atop the overall points leaderboard, but still disappointed after watching WR Chris Calloway drop a wide-open pass on Monday night that would have undeniably been a 75-yard touchdown.   Randy's Rocket (2-0) defeated White Chocolate (0-2), 88-76. So far, White Chocolate is this year's surprise disappointment. Historically, Tod & Eddie's teams are always amongst the leaders in total points and overall record, but this year, White Chocolate is at the bottom of the points standings and are winless in their first two games. Me thinks their team has too much White and not enough Chocolate. Defending Super Bowl champion Randy's Rocket is undefeated after two games despite lackluster scoring performances from their namesake, WR Randy Moss. This week's win caps off a seven-game winning streak that began in Week Twelve of last season.    Remember, waivers clear Thursday morning at 12:00 AM, so get your waiver applications in to me before then. The complete rules regarding Waivers/Free Agency is posted under the RULES section of the site. Also, if you are going to submit lineups to me via e-mail, make sure to use the postyle@europa.com address. I usually don't go into work on the weekends just to gather fantasy rosters! One last thing, I will continue to report my starting lineups and waiver submissions to at least one other owner before the week's games and waivers deadline.          The Commish