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2004 Week 5 Report
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After starting out hot for the first three weeks
of the year, it was another low scoring week the league. This is the 2nd
week in a row where the numbers were dismal overall. Here are the results
for Week Five:
E-Z Money (3-2)
defeated P.O.B.'s Pimp Daddies (1-4),
135-82.
The Steins (3-2)
defeated Los Tres Anillos (3-2)
, 89-68.
Jo-Boo's Browns Backers (2-3)
defeated The Fat Bus (0-5),
70-57.
Who-Dey Delight (3-2)
defeated Fightin' Priests (3-1-1),
84-77.
Hawk 'n' Roll (4-0-1)
defeated I'm The Caddy Grandma (2-3),
114-104.
There were so many things worth mentioning about
this past week I'm not sure where to begin. Let's just get the ball rolling
by discussing the trade. Yes, you know which trade I am referring to. Daunte
for Barlow. This trade continues to get worse and worse and worse. In fact
it was so bad it makes every other file sale and SVU deal pale in comparison.
It clearly was the worst swap in the league's history, therefore, it will
only need to be referenced as "the trade" from here on out. Barlow
scored 5 points this past week despite facing Arizona. And he was at home.
This was a dream matchup for the overrated Barlow. This guy just isn't
getting it done and anyone who valued him high to start the season was
on crack. Meanwhile, Daunte posted 51 points this past week. Hello! 51
points! That tied the all-time record for single points in a game.
Now let's talk about the genius who is managing
the Fightin' Priests. This guy doesn't want to win! After costing himself
a victory in Week Two by benching his #1 wide receiver he did something
worse this past week. Despite the fact that he was injured (widely publicized)
and declared inactive for the game, K Mike Vanderjagt got the start
for the Priests this past weekend. There's nothing quite like a Zero for
your kicker. The only other kicker on the Priests roster was John Kasay,
who just so happened to be good for 7 points on the week. Hmmmm... let's
see... the Priests lost by 7 points and their backup kicker would have
scored them exactly 7 points. Brilliant.
More comments:
The Fat Bus is out of it. You know it. I know
it. They know it. But it still would be nice to show a little effort. Starting
RB Willie Green this past week over franchise star RB Duece McAllister
just smells of laziness.
Don't look now but E-Z Money is the top scoring
team in the league! After starting 0-2 on the year they have won three
straight. Of course they wouldn't be where they are now without "the
trade." You can thank JoBoo for your success.
Losing streaks all around! Five in a row for
the Bus. Three losses in a row for I'm The Caddy Grandma. Three in a row
for the Pimp Daddies as well. Who's going to be the first to make a liquidation
sale?
Who-Dey Demise: Are you really going to
play Vick all year? You can't be planning on that, can you?
E-Z Money: That was nice you got lucky in
Week Four with that stiff Reche Caldwell. But don't think you can stick
him in your lineup every week now as a reliable player. He still sucks.
The Lip Conference is 8-1 vs. the Hair Conference.
That's some domination!
Taunt ya next week...
The Commish
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