2004 Week 13 Report

The regular season is over and now the real season begins. It's Playoff Time! Let's see if Hawk 'n' Roll can defend their title or if someone else will bring home the coveted Super Bowl ring in 2004. The Lip Conference dominated the Hair Conference this year in both points scored and the interleague series - which they won 20-5. The Lips also qualified 4 playoff teams compared to two for the Hair Conference. Of the six teams still alive, five of them have already earned a cash prize in 2004.      Before we take a look at next week's playoff games, here are the final results for Week Thirteen:       Hawk 'n' Roll (7-5-1) defeated Los Tres Anillos (7-6), 140-132. The Steins (10-3) defeated P.O.B.'s Pimp Daddies (2-11), 127-102. Jo-Boo's Browns Backers (5-8) defeated The Fat Bus (1-12), 96-70. Fightin' Priests (8-4-1) defeated E-Z Money (9-4), 128-104. Who-Dey Delight (8-5) defeated I'm The Caddy Grandma (7-6) , 110-55.        Here's a recap of where everyone finished the 2004 regular season:    Teams in the 2004 Playoffs Teams with Lottery Draft Picks in 2005 The Steins - Hair Conference champion, best overall record, and most overall points. They are the #1 seed in the playoffs as they coasted through most of the regular season. Their winnings this year have totaled $325.   E-Z Money - Lip Conference champion, 2nd best overall record, and 2nd most overall points. 2004 prize money for the franchise is $215. As the #2 seed, they will get a bye during the first round.     Fightin' Priests - Lip Conference runner-up and 3rd best overall record. They also had the 3rd most overall points bringing their 2004 prize total to $100.     Who-Dey Delight - They are the #4 seed.   Hawk 'n' Roll - They are the #5 seed and scored the 4th most overall points ($25).      Los Tres Anillos- They are the #6 seed and the Hair Conference runner-up ($25). The Fat Bus - Draft pick #1 next year. This is their worst finish ever in league play and their 1-12 record ties Jo-Boo's Browns Backers (2000 season) for the worst record in league history.   P.O.B.'s Pimp Daddies - Draft pick #2 next year. Their 2004 schedule was the most difficult in league history, as their opponents averaged over 109 points per game.   Jo-Boo's Browns Backers - Draft pick #3 next year, giving them their third lottery pick in the last five years.   I'm The Caddy Grandma - Draft pick #4 next year, they failed to make the playoffs despite having a winning record in 2004. Due to a tiebreaker, they are lottery bound.     O.K., here is the playoff bracket:      Playoff Schedule                Alright, now it's time for the playoffs! Back for more fun and laughter is everybody's favorite sand bagger, Ed Lover:    Commissioner's Note: More off-color commentary by the 1/2 owner of The Steins. In case you missed it the first time, the "Hey Eddie!" song is still available by clicking here.   It's that time of year again. Week 14 is here and we have owners excited about their teams' chances to win a title and other owners who are already thinking about where they can get the best deal on Coors Light for next years draft.   Give O'Brien credit he is still working by picking up Foster this week. As for Murph he has moved on to Frosh girls hoops. It was an amazing Week 13. Tons of points were scored which give some owners some real optimism about the playoffs. The top six scoring teams in the league are in the playoffs. I have a feeling that hasn't happened too often in this league. Usually Jo-Boo is pulling the bullllllllsssshhhhhitt 8th place points finish to a playoff berth! We could use Joo Boo in the playoffs this year.   There is some serious momentum for some teams coming into the playoffs. Los Dos Anillos has picked up the pace over the last four weeks and now it's tough to keep that owner's mouth shut. Choke ‘n' Roll bounced back in a big way this week needing a win and getting it. The defending champ is not going down quietly. Some NGL and a little tape on Randy's hammy and Choke will actually scare someone.   Molesting Priests showed why they are one of the points leaders by posting a huge week. Its going to be tough for them if Priest doesn't get healthy.   The Savants feel as though this is their year, but according to P.O. there is a force out there that makes this a real uphill battle for them.   Clarett Delight's roster is as strong as it has ever been, but the coach hasn't changed.   The Steins finished strong with 10 straight weeks over 100 points and breaking the all-time season points record. That doesn't bode well for them in that only one team in league history has won the points title and won the Superbowl. That was Bullllllseye in 2000. Bullllsssseye or Bulllllllsssshit? We shall find out!   I'm not going to go out and predict the brackets because Kelso is the Bracket Buster as evidenced by last year. What I will predict is that the playoffs this year are going to be crazy. Usually teams lay eggs in the playoffs, but with the trends in scoring lately, we are setup for some real shoot-outs.   Good luck to everyone and see you in week 15!       Commissioner's Note: A special playoff prediction column from last season's Super Bowl champion will be released later in the week.   My2004 playoff predictions are coming soon... Stay Tuned!      That's it for the regular season, so the rosters of teams that did not make the playoffs are now frozen until next year's draft. Good luck to those teams that are still alive!      The Commish