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2004 Week 1 Report
I don't think there could have been a better
way to start the 2004 season. We saw The Fat Bus break down before they
even left the terminal. We saw The Steins answer their critics and post
a solid opening day victory. And -the one that tops them all- we saw E-Z Money
lose Week One despite being the benefactor of the worst trade of all-time!
The results from the opening week of play:
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Feature game of the week
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Fightin' Priests (1-0)
defeated E-Z Money
(0-1), 117-113.
A brilliant draft day trade saw E-Z Money receive the best player
in fantasy, QB Daunte Culpepper, in exchange for the draft pick that
selected RB Kevan Barlow. Why did Jo-Boo make such a stupid trade?
Probably for the same reason he sold the rights to Edgerrin James before
the 2000 season: Jo-Boo is a horrible judge of talent. Culpepper lived
up to the hype Week One as he posted a career high 4 touchdowns, and E-Z Money
ended the week with a solid 113 points. They would have had more points
if they had any talent at wide receiver. But they don't. The Fightin' Priests
came out swinging this week. Behind franchise players QB Donovan McNabb
and RB Priest Holmes, who combined for 65 points, the Priests led
the league in scoring. Their receivers aren't much to sneeze at either,
but at least they are better than those of E-Z Money.
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Here are the rest of the results for Week One:
I'm The Caddy Grandma (1-0)
defeated The Fat Bus (0-1),
90-85. The Bus
may have lost this game, but they lost a lot more as their #1 receiver,
Steve Smith, pulled a McCaffrey and broke his leg on opening day. So much
for the preseason rankings. With RB Duece McAllister looking like
crap in his first game it seems that this might be a long season for The
Fat Bus. The surprise of the draft: Grandma's RB Quentin Griffin! Griffin
posted a whopping 32 points and showed he was worth the early gamble when
Grandma selected him in round two of the draft. Now the question is whether
or not Griffin can stay healthy. We shall see.
Los Tres Anillos (1-0)
defeated P.O.B.'s Pimp Daddies (0-1),
105-73. Balanced
scoring led the Anillos to an easy Week One victory. It's been a while
since this team had any talent at running back. The Pimp Daddies had some
positive Week One results, in particular the play of RBs Marshall
Faulk and Brian Westbrook. If their receivers ever step up, this could
be a very dangerous team.
The Steins (1-0)
defeated Jo-Boo's Browns Backers (0-1),
106-67. They
were ridiculed after the draft for picking some stiffs. Owners from around
the league were laughing after The Steins drafted two starting Chicago
Bears, a washed up Baltimore Raven, and a couple of players who won't see
the field for months due to current injuries. And how did The Steins respond?
By posting a solid 106 points and squashing their opponent in a Week One
laffer. Jo-Boo, how would have Daunte's 41 points done for you this week?
After making arguably the worst trade in the history of the league (see
above), there is little reason to expect the Browns Backers will amount
to much this season. Thanks for p(l)aying.
Hawk 'n' Roll (1-0)
defeated Who-Dey Delight (0-1),
100-71. The Hawk
rolled all over the franchise with the worst team name the league has ever
seen. Who-Dey Delight sounds like a bad asian porno flick. And they performed
about as well this past week. The defending champs, Hawk 'n' Roll, displayed
a well-rounded attack, with respectable scores from several players. The
bright spot for Who-Dey: #1 WR Chad Johnson who looked impressive
Week One.
One week down. Twelve to go before the playoffs.
Taunt you later,
The Commish
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