|
|
2003 Week 9 Report
|
You can all breathe a collective sigh of relief.
The trading deadline has come and gone and for the first time in several
years we managed to avoid any rapes, fire sales, and blatantly unbalanced
swaps. Why was 2003 different? Because of the Priestie Boys! They are the
only team that doesn't have a chance to make the playoffs, and since they
already traded for QB Michael Vick a few weeks ago (boy, was that
a shitty trade) there was no move left for them to make.
We now have only four weeks in the regular
season schedule and it looks like five teams are competing for the final
two playoff spots. The next few weeks should feature some intense matchups
and some sleepless Sunday nights. Let's see who chokes and who manages
to pull the right strings.
Here are the full results for Week Nine:
Faerie Fucks
(6-3) defeated E-Z Money (4-5),
89-75. Nothing
spectacular about this win for the Fucks. They performed below average
this week, but luckily they were going up against a shitty team. All that
counts is the "W" and by notching the victory, the Fucks are
now back on top of the Lip Conference. E-Z Money still has a good chance
at the postseason. But they'll still need to win at least two -- and possibly
three -- of their remaining four games. Can they do it? My money says no,
especially if they continue to start two Ravens receivers on the same day.
The Fat Bus (8-1)
defeated T.T.M.F. Little Johnny (3-6),
110-71. All aboard!
Next stop: a first round bye. Could things be any easier for the Bus? Not
really. This week they made all the right moves and started the top QB
performer on the week, Chad Pennington. Meanwhile, their genius opponent
decided to bench Brett Favre in favor of Marques Tuiasosopo. That's downright
stupid. But not as stupid as starting RB Corey Dillon. How many games
has he already left during the first half of action this season? Too many
to count, and this past Sunday was no exception. 5 rushing yards and 8
receiving yards. I don't think Mensa will be knocking on Johnny's door
anytime soon.
Victorious Secrets
(3-6) defeated Karen's Komets (5-4),
106-103. Ah,
the dreaded Monday Night Chisel was administered this week. The Komets
thought they had a narrow Week Nine victory after Sunday's action, but
then kicker Adam Vinatieri posted 13 points on Monday night for the
Secrets. The horror. By winning, the Secrets keep their slim playoff hopes
alive. The Komets still have a nice shot at the plaoffs, but nothing is
guaranteed. They'll need to win a game or two more to get in.
P.O.B. Pimps
(5-4) defeated Priestie Boys
(0-9), 86-71.
With no Priest Holmes due to the bye week, did anybody think the league's
worst team would be able to win? Of course not. I mean, shit, they
can't win a game with the league's best player active every week -- so
they have absolutely no chance get it done when he isn't playing. The Pimps
enjoyed this Week Nine bye as they gear up for the stretch run. They are
another one of those bubble teams that still has some work to do if they
want a chance at winning the title. Next week's game vs. Vick's Vagines
is huge for them.
The Steins (5-3-1)
defeated Vick's Vagines
(5-3-1), 98-89.
The Steins! The Vagines! Everybody gets excited when these two face off
in what is probably the most heated rivalry the league has ever known.
This year The Steins won the season series 1-0-1 and have bragging rights
for... well... until the playoffs start. They'll both qualify this year,
so it's very probable they will face off for a third time this year. Get
your taunts in now, boys, because talking shit after the fact is bad manner,
not to mention very pussy.
Tadow!
The Commish
|
|
