|
|
2003 Week 5 Report
|
Normally by the end of Week Five each season
we have a pretty good idea of which teams are just not good enough to make
the playoffs. Some years it's 2 teams that stand out, other times it's
3. This 2003 season is not playing out that way. Right now we have 6 teams
with losing records, and all teams are still very alive in the playoff
hunt. Even the winless Priestie Boys still have a realistic shot at making
the postseason. They may be 0-5, but they're only two games out from being
a qualifier.
Here are the results for Week Five:
Faerie Fucks
(3-2) defeated T.T.M.F. Little Johnny (2-3),
117-63. It's
getting past the point of comedic as we watch Little Johnny start running
backs who get injured during the first quarter of their game, or (as in
the case of this week) are injured before the game starts and don't even
suit up. I think the entire world knew Edgerrin James was out this week...
except for Little Johnny. What can you say about the Faerie Fucks other
than Marvin Harrison is the man. He has posted 30+ points two weeks in
a row now and did it this week against Tampa Bay -- the best defense in
the NFL. Amazing.
The Fat Bus (5-0)
defeated Victorious Secrets
(1-4), 83-64.
The Bus is undefeated and looks like a lock to make the playoffs. They
weren't that impressive this week, but they didn't need to be, as their
opponent is the league's lowest scoring team. The Secrets are only strong
at one position, wide receiver, but their problem is that even their WRs
aren't scoring. Theese two teams are definitely heading in opposite directions.
E-Z Money (2-3)
defeated Karen's Komets (2-3),
93-64. Don't
look now, but E-Z Money has a winning streak! Two weeks in a row they
have found themselves victorious, and they have actually put up decent
scores in the process. Of course, this week's 93 points could have been
much better had they played their star QB Peyton Manning. In typical
fashion, E-Z Money overanalyzed their matchups, and benched a stud.
Genius! On the losing end of this week's game, the Komets find themselves
in a log jam for 2nd place in the Hair Conference. Three teams are all
tied with 2-3 records.
The Steins (3-1-1)
defeated Priestie Boys
(0-5), 116-79.
The Priestie Boys finally got a big day from #1 draft pick David Boston.
But it didn't matter. The rest of their team layed an egg. They're shitty.
The Steins keep getting quality scoring across the board. This week, they
managed to have an aging receiver, Rod Smith, pass for over 70 yards. Pass!
Things seem to be going their way.
Vick's Vagines
(4-0-1) defeated P.O.B.
Pimps (2-3), 112-72.
The Pimps tried to pap smear the Vagines this week, but just couldn't perform
as planned. Even with RB Jamal Lewis on a bye, the Vagines managed
to post 112 points. The Pimps got absolutely nothing from their receivers
this week and having to start RB Emmit Smith for the 2nd week in a
row really cost them.
I will be out of town until Friday evening.
Email me any transaction requests (waiver wire, free agent pick ups), and
I will process them upon my return.
Peace.
The Commish
|
|
