2003 Week 16 Report

Congratulations to the 2003 Super Bowl champion: Vick's Vagines !      Super Bowl Final Score:    Vick's Vagines 112, The Steins 68    This championship game was not very close. The Vagines kept up their torrid postseason scoring pace while the Steins endured injury after injury after injury (Matt Hasselbeck, Darrel Jackson, Terrell Owens). It's a shame this is how it ends for The Steins. After nurturing and caring for RB Fred Taylor all season, and getting the big playoff game production out of him that The Savants could have only dreamed of, The Steins had to watch the rest of their team fall apart.    The Vagines predicted all 5 playoff games correctly back in Week 13, so one can expect them to be very cocky right about now. After the game, the league asked the owner of Vick's Vagines for some reflections on his championship season and the big game. Here's what he said:     "Where to start,...when you're right, you're right and I'm right. The predictions were almost too easy this year.   Karen's Bullshit - That'll teach Murph. Sorry about that Buzzsaw you ran into a few weeks back. Next time, make a trade when you have the 2 best QB's in the league. You can only play one. Quit worrying about making other teams better. Your squad would've been better picking up a #4 WR instead of carrying 2 QB's into the playoffs, remember, you can only play one. Good luck next year. If you want a lesson in repeating I will give it too you gratis.    The Fat Bus - It started with the pounding of the Bus. Although A.J. Gadawski could've predicted that one. We all knew the Bus would come up short when the games mean something... Hey someone has to be a playoff filler.   The Steins - The Steins were 1-1-1 against The Vagines this year... Not bad, they just chose the wrong week to get pounded. Oh, but wait, T.O. broke his collarbone and Hasselbeck pulled his hammy, and Darrell Jackson did who knows what and some other stiff got hurt also, oh and Stephen Davis was out (shock, are you kidding me? - A.J. again on this one)... Take your medicine like a man STEIN (not you TB)... Ever heard of Clinton Portis? The best player in Fantasy? Yeah, that one... the one that sat on my bench for the Superbowl!!   Memories of 1998... Sorry for making this year so anticlimactic, that 45 point route of the Bus seemed like a nailbiter. Does anybody stop to wonder why the average margin of victory for my six playoff wins is nearly 50 points? That's right 50 points. Nice to get that three-game playoff losing streak off my back as well....   Pre Superbowl Emails:   1) Stein wrote "Do you have a reference of someone who could sell me a safe that fits two rings?" Post Superbowl Reply from Kelso - "No, I don't but I could sure use one"   2) Or what about this pre Superbowl email from the Vagines: "Loser can't make taunting emails, phone calls, or taunts at the draft for 1 year. They have to shut their hole for 1 year. I won't even make it count for TB." ...The entire league owes me for this genius bet... No Peanut Gallery for Ed Stein Lover at next year's draft... an absolute Classic. I, as well as the entire league, will expect nothing but integrity from Stein in accepting this demoralizing wager.   3) And another Pre Game email from Stein: "How about we bet T.O. vs Terry Glenn as part of the package?" Vagines Post Game - "Easy Money...thanks again, Stein."   4) And another... "Post the league fee 2004 bet. That'll teach Stein. " Post Game from Vagines - "Another $135 in the bank... it will be fun next year playing with Eddie's money." Ever hear the one about fish in a barrel? That is what it's like betting with Stein.   Side Bet Summary:   1) Regular Season Points - Stein wins $17. 2) Week 14 $1 a point - $88 to the Vagines 3) Week 15 $1 a point - $9 to the Vagines 4) Week 16 $1 a point - $44 to the Vagines 5) Santana vs. The Real Moss $1 a point week 16 - Vagines win $19 6) Owens vs. Glenn Week 16 $1 a point - Vagines win $4 7) Superbowl Winner comped 2004 league fees - $135 to the Vagines 8) Eddie showing up at next year's draft on time and keeping his pie hole shut?? PRICELESS !   Hey Stein, 2 things: remember to draft for week 16 next year and it's kind of tough to win a ring with 4 hands around your throat. Peace, I'm out!   -JJ Stokes "      This is what the final playoff bracket looks like:        2003 Playoffs                 Here is the list of this year's prize winners:      Superbowl winner   Runner-up   Hair Conference champion   Lip Conference champion   Hair Conference runner-up   Lip Conference runner-up   Most overall points   2nd most overall points   3rd most overall points   4th most overall points   Best overall record   2nd best overall record   3rd best overall record   TOTAL  $375   $150   $50   $50   $25   $25   $200   $115   $50   $25   $75   $50     $25       $1,215    Vick's Vagines The Steins   The Fat Bus  The Steins   Karen's Komets   P.O.B. Pimps    The Fat Bus The Steins   Vick's Vagines   P.O.B. Pimps   The Fat Bus  The Steins   P.O.B. Pimps       Totals:      $425 Vick's Vagines   $365 The Steins  $325 The Fat Bus   $75 P.O.B. Pimps   $25 Karen's Komets               Like always, it was a great season for some, a decent season for others, and a bad nightmare for the rest. 2004 will start before you say "Ray Zellars? He is already off the board!"   See ya in 2004!       The Commish