WEEK NINE REPORT        Nine weeks are now in the books. And like every year at this point, most of the league can breathe a collective sigh of relief -- thankful that the trading deadline has passed. The rapes, fire sales, and the like are through for this 2002 season. But not before a few big deals went down. There has been some definite disagreement in the league about the quality of trades that have been made, and some owners want to revamp our current rules on trading. It will be interesting to see what changes, if any, will be made for next year's trading guidelines. Anyway, I'm not going to analyze the trades here, you can view them all from the transactions page and make up your own mind. To take a page out of The Fat Bus' quote book, let's just say "I'm not that fired up if I have to franchise WR Joe Horn or RB Edgerrin James" for next year.   The playoff race is looking like it's going to have a great finish. With 4 weeks left to play in the regular season, nobody has been eliminated yet, and nobody has clinched. Technically. I think we'll all agree that Corey Dillon The Ball Carrier will be known as "Owner, The First Draft Selection Picker" and The Savants will also have a lottery pick. So that leaves 8 teams challenging for the 6 postseason berths. And as of right now, we have 3 teams with 4-5 records and one with a 4-4 record. It looks like these 4 teams will be the ones fighting for the last 2 spots. The teams are: Karen's Komets (4-4), TD Taunters (4-5), Dawson's Crizzzy (4-5), and Gimme The Damn Ball! (4-5). Next week is a big one for these squads as the Taunters play the Crizzy while Gimme The Damn Ball! has a tough matchup against the Boston Stranglers. Luckily for the Komets, they have a relatively easy matchup against The Savants, although WR Joe Horn is not on a bye this week. Week Ten will be crucial for these four franchises.       Here are the full results for Week Nine:   Bullseye (6-3) defeated Dawson's Crizzzy (4-5), 98-96. A lot of things could have happened for the Crizzy this week that could have avoided giving them a loss. But they didn't. The Crizzy played the wrong kicker. The Crizzy's defense gave up a late score in the Monday night game. And Bullseye's late week trade for WR Jimmy Smith proved to be the difference. It's fitting that these two rivals played down to the wire this week in a very close contest. Historically, they have had some tight games decided on Monday night. This year, it was Bullseye emerging with the narrow victory, something I am sure we will be reading about in our trash talk e-mails over the next couple of weeks.   Boston Stranglers (6-3) defeated The Green Party (5-3-1), 85-76. The Green Party was playing with a weaker than normal roster this week, as their star RB Priest Holmes had a bye. They made it interesting on Monday night, but the Party still suffered it's second straight loss. This is the first time this year that they haven't had the league's best record. We shall see if they rebound. As for the Stranglers, they were anemic at WR, with their big name players coming up rather small. RB Antowain Smith was the difference for them this week -- something they'll need to see continue if they want to have a chance at successfully defending their title.   TD Taunters (4-5) defeated Gimme The Damn Ball! (4-5), 111-81. The TD Taunters, the team that was officially named this past week as the "Most Compulsive Obsessive Fantasy Trading Team in America," managed to pull off their their third victory in a row. This was another big win for the league's highest scoring team. At 4-5, and in a three-way tie for 6th place currently, the Taunters look like they can pull off an incredible turnaround season. But they'll have to get by the Crizzy next week in a huge showdown. The Damn Ball! might be in trouble going forward. Three of their final four games are against quality opponents. They'll have to win at least two of them if they want to make the playoffs.   Karen's Komets (4-4-1) defeated Pooh Bott Helmets (6-3), 70-60. Lou Holtz has found a way to still be in the thick of it as we head toward the end of the year. The Komets are not a pretty team. But they are in 5th place, and most likely need to win only 2 of their final 4 games to wrap up a playoff berth. Can they do it? Well considering they still get to play The Savants and Corey Dillon The Ball Carrier one more time, I say yes they can. And will. But it won't be pretty. The loss puts the Helmets into a tie with Bullseye for first place in the Lip Conference. The Helmets aren't playing their best right now, but they should still make the playoffs with ease. However, there is something to be said about starting strong and fading at the end. It's not a recipe for winning a championship.   The Savants (3-6) defeated Corey Dillon The Ball Carrier (2-7), 106-53. As you all probably know by now, The Savants started WR Joe Horn this week despite the fact that New Orleans had a bye. Not that it mattered though. The Savants benefited from arguably one of the greatest weeks of Stiff Scoring ever recorded. QB Brad Johnson had 5 touchdowns. WRs Ron Dixon and Frank Sanders each scored. Heck even their crappy kicker had a good day. Hurray for The Savants (and the Douglases)! Fifty-three measley points is all Corey Dillon could put up this week. Seven losses in a row. Their season is a complete disaster. Now, if someone would tell me why they traded their best player - WR Jimmy Smith - I would appreciate it.         Next week is huge. Don't blow it.   The Commish