WEEK SEVEN REPORT        The Hair Conference flexed some muscle this week winning 4 out of the 5 interleague matchups. If you take a look at the overall scoring leaders, you'll see Hair Conference teams make up five of the top six overall. It seems no matter how hard we try, the league still can't find any divisional balance. Perhaps next year we'll vote on a rule to prevent Corey Dillon The Ball Carrier, Karen's Komets and The Savants from all being in the same conference. That should help a little.   The big winner on the week was Karen's Komets as they managed to gain a game on their four Lip Conference rivals. Conversely, Gimme The Damn Ball! took a hit as the lone Hair Conference team to take a loss this week. If the season ended today, both of these teams would qualify for the playoffs -- barely! But there are still 6 weeks to go, and it's still a wideopen race. The two squads who look like locks for lottery picks next year are The Savants and Corey Dillon The Ball Carrier. They both still have a shot at making the playoffs, although the loser of their Week Nine head-to-head matchup can probably start making early vacation plans. Now on to this week's recaps...      Here are the full results for Week Seven:   Karen's Komets (3-3-1) defeated Gimme The Damn Ball! (3-4), 90-86. In an ironic twist of fate, The Damn Ball! saw the franchise player they decided to let go this year -- QB Peyton Manning -- hand them a close loss on Monday night. Needing 16 points from Manning for the victory in the last game of the week, the Komets breathed a sigh of relief when they got the neccessary points late in the 4th quarter. Two of the top scorers in this matchup were WRs Quincy Morgan and Corey Bradford, both pretty much stiffs. If these two squads think they'll bring home any cash this year starting that caliber of player, they must be on crack. In five completed seasons in this league these two franchises have combined for exactly 3 postseason wins. Expect the failures to continue for either squad should they drunkenly stumble into the playoffs.    The Green Party (5-1-1) defeated Corey Dillon The Ball Carrier (2-5), 104-65. The Green Party just keeps on rolling. Priest Holmes, star RB for the Party, had an off day as he only scored 3 touchdowns. McNabb was especially weak this Sunday as he managed just 15 points against a tough Tampa Bay team. The Ball Carrier had 30 points from their quarterback, Rich Gannon. Unfortunately for them, the rest of their 8 starters totaled a combined 35 points. That is ugly! With the loss, Corey Dillon has now dropped 5 straight games after starting the season 2-0. Talk about hitting the wall. It would take nothing short of a miracle for this beleaguered franchise to right the ship and turn their season around. That championship ring for the Ball Carrier in 1997 is nothing more but a distant memory.   Boston Stranglers (5-2) defeated The Savants (2-5), 99-78. As they predicted in their annual "Open Letter To The Savants" -- the Stranglers coasted to a relatively easy victory. They did lose RB Jerome Bettis to an injury after playing just a half in the Monday night game. If he is out for an extended period, they could be in trouble -- as Bettis has been their only consistent RB for the last few weeks. The Savants would be a prime candidate for a fire sale right about now if they had any players of value to trade. Since they don't, it looks like they'll have to franchise the same players they keep every year. Yes, the losing cycle most likely continues for a few more years.   TD Taunters (2-5) defeated Bullseye (4-3), 135-73. The Taunters absolutely taunted this week! Needing a win, they spanked their biggest detractors, Bullseye, from start to finish. Don't count this 2-5 squad out just yet folks. They're one point behind The Green Party for the overall points lead, and they are coming on strong. As for Bullseye, they're absolutely getting nothing from their trio of Tampa Bay Bucaneers. Perhaps they should have spent less time worrying about what division they picked out of the hat on draft night and diversified their roster a little. Edgerrin who?   Dawson's Crizzzy (3-4) defeated Pooh Bott Helmets (5-2), 97-87. Another team needing a win in the worst way this week was the Crizzy. They have now beaten the Pooh Bott Helmets in all six lifetime matchups bewteen the teams. That's got to sting the Helmets who were hoping to break the streak in what is obviously their best season so far historically. They should have won this matchup too, if hadn't been for an early game injury to starting QB Brett Favre. His 4 points just weren't enough to earn the win. Next week the Crizzy has both of the defenses on their roster (Green Bay & Miami) on a bye so they'll have to hit the waiver wire and pick up a squad to start as their defense. In what is one of the biggest draft night blunders on record, the Crizzy managed to not only draft two defenses with the same bye week -- but they also drafted two kickers (Cortez & Vanderjagt) who also had the same bye week. That's just poor preparation, folks.   Next week features even more important matchups, so pick your rosters carefully this week. Nobody has clinched a playoff spot yet and nobody has been eliminated. Six weeks to go. And you don't want to fack yourself out of the postaseason because you made a poor decision or two. Chew on that til Sunday...         The Commish