WEEK TWO REPORT     Week Two is in the books and we have three 2-0 teams, three 0-2 teams, and four 1-1 teams. Looking ahead to next week, those teams without a win really need to get a victory or they will have an extremely tough hill to climb if they want to make the postseason. Conversely, the three 2-0 teams are looking to get a big jump on everyone else if they win their next games. Next week, none of the 2-0 teams play each other, nor do the 0-2 teams matchup against one another. So possibly, we could have three teams with perfect 3-0 starts and three squads with 0-3 records.   Feature game of the week Pooh Bott Helmets (2-0) defeated The Savants (0-2), 110-98. I know what you're thinking: Why is a game featuring The Savants being billed the league's feature matchup for the week? Well the answer is simple - because the Pooh Bott Helmets were on the verge of making team history. Yes, that's right, for the first time in 6 years, this franchise won their first 2 games of the regular season! Congratulations to the Helmets on their impressive 2-0 start. This week RB Thomas Jones lifted them to the win while The Savants ended up with a bitter defeat. Just as one of their franchise players' careers is on the rebound (RB Fred Taylor), their other top player (QB Kurt Warner) is seeing his spiral down the shitter. Oh well, there's always next season for The Savants.   Here are the rest of the results for Week Two:   Corey Dillon The Ball Carrier (2-0) defeated TD Taunters (0-2), 127-110. With Corey Dillon, we have another surprise 2-0 team. And this week they dominated their opponent by getting scores from all of their wide receivers and they had a huge day from QB Drew Bledsoe. That was a smart coaching move to start Bledsoe, although their other viable starter, Rich Gannon, would have posted solid numbers as well. For the Taunters at 0-2 they must be disappointed, especially after posting such a high number this week. Next week they play the Boston Stranglers, a team they have seemed to own over recent years. They'll need to see that trend continue or they'll be looking at a horrific 0-3 start -- while the rest of us will be breathing a sigh of relief (we won't have to worry about playing against Marshall in the playoffs again this year).   The Green Party (2-0) defeated Gimme The Damn Ball! (1-1), 122-76. Our third team to start the season 2-0 is The Green Party. After their excellent 2nd place finish last year, they are continuing to produce points in this young 2002 campaign. One must wonder, however, how long they'll be able to rack up so many receiving points from guys like Hines Ward (19 points this week), Mushin Muhammad (17 points this week), and Quadry Ismail (16 points last week). My hunch is they're going to have to start relying on their RBs if they want to keep winning over the next 11 weeks. As for Gimme The Damn Ball! they looked horrible this week. They must have shot their load last week.    Boston Stranglers (1-1) defeated Dawson's Crizzzy (0-2), 98-82. The Crizzy is 0-2 and they have a tough challenge next week vs. The Green Party. They never got it going this week, and their opponent put up an all-time record for defensive points with 20 from Tampa Bay. They'll need to see RB Shaun Alexander do better then he did on Sunday if they want to avoid an 0-3 start. The Stranglers face the TD Taunters next week, and rumor has it the owner of their squad is considering starting RB Lamar Smith for the second week in a row. God help them if that's true.     Bullseye (1-1) defeated Karen's Komets (1-1), 113-73. Y'all didn't really think Bullseye was going to be tay-reebs this year did you? And y'all really didn't think the Komets were going to keep that #1 power ranking for longer than a week did you? I sure hope not, because Bullseye has some talent, and the Komets are still a work in progress. Sure, they've come a long way from their pathetic 2000-2001 squads, but they're not quite over the hump yet. This week showed you the power of a star QB who likes to run the ball. yes, Daunte Culpepper is the real deal, and the six of you who passed him up in the draft sure look silly now. This is especially true when you consider our draft's Round One is actually Round Three due to the franchise selections. (Note: Daunte went in the top 5 in most league's Round One -- where there were NO franchises.) Hrmmm... maybe he won't throw to Randy that much the rest of year? Yeah right.      Taunt you all next week.        The Commish