WEEK EIGHT REPORT

What happened to the scoring?!?!? Last year, teams were scoring in the 100's every other week, but this year we're lucky to get just one team over the century mark in any given week. Week Eight was no exception. Only Bullseye was able to score 100 or better, and I do mean "better". They fashioned a 130-point effort without their top two players. The rest of the league just sort of stumbled through the week.

Has the NFL changed? Are the players less explosive than they used to be? Or has parity just caught up with our league to the point where only a few teams can manage the high scores? If you have any thoughts on this, or any ideas on why our league is not scoring very many points in 2001 -- then feel free to e-mail your thoughts to:

fack_you@i_don't_care_what_you_think.com

Seriously now, I haven't run the exact numbers to compare this year to last year, but I can assure you that there is a very big difference between the two.

Feature game of the week

Dippity-Doo (5-3) defeated PTP: Peyton's Trailerpark Posse! (5-3), 87-78. Just when you think Dippity Doo was reverting back to their losing ways of the previous two seasons, they come out and surprise everyone (including themselves) with three wins in a row! This week's victory was a huge step for this squad as they now find themselves in a three-way tie for the Lip Conference lead. Peyton's cronies are finding out just how difficult it is to win fantasy games without solid wide receivers... especially when their superstar running back tandem of Lamar Smith and Curtis Martin combine for a measley 11 points! That'll leave a mark! (in the loss column, of course)

Here are the rest of the results for Week Eight:

Jo-Boo's Browns Backers (3-5) defeated Marshall's Maulers (1-6-1), 92-79. There has been a Jo-Boo sighting! Here we are heading into Week Nine and Jo-Boo's Browns Backers are actually in the playoff hunt. When was the last time you can remember that Jo-Boo was still contending this late into a season? Personally, I can't remember a time. As for Marshall, he is not mauling anybody this year. Maybe when his knee is healthy he can return to his vicious ways.

Bullseye (6-2) defeated Eighty-Eight, Late! (3-5), 130-99. Bullseye is rolling! This week's win makes it five victories in a row, and their 130 point Week Eight outburst earned them another slot on the all-time records list. The impressive thing about the 130 poitns this week was that they managed to do it without their two franchise players, Daunte Culpepper and Edgerrin James! If they can score like this without their studs being active, then the rest of the league better prepare for a repeat. As for Eighty-Eight, Late! -- well, they are looking a lot more "late" than "88" right about now. Their playoffs begin next week as they face the Browns Backers in a key playoff-positioning showdown.

NGL^© (5-2-1) defeated The Savants (4-4), 73-56. The Savants only scored 56 points this week despite getting a combined 17 points from their kicker and defense. That is truly pathetic! It sort of reminds me of the Jo-Boo performances from yesteryear. NGL^© is now in a a two-man race with Bullseye for the coveted Hair Conference championship and first round bye. For those of you keeping score at home, the Hair Conference is once again the more powerful conference in the league and thusly its regular season crown deserves more respect than that of the Lip Conference.

Corey Dillon The Ball Carrier (5-3) defeated The Fruit Baskets (2-6), 90-75. This year, the Baskets have not been able to catch a break. Meanwhile, Corey Dillon can't avoid getting lucky. Based on that, it was no surprise that the lower scoring team on the year would win this contest. In fact, Corey Dillon is more than just a low-scoring team, they are the #2 low scoring team in the league. Add to that the fact that no team has had less points scored against them than Corey Dillon, it's no wonder they are tied for the Lip Conference lead. The way it's shaping up, we could very well wind up having the two lowest scoring teams in the league both qualify for the postseason!

Next week is so very huge for some teams! The matchups for Week Nine, and my predictions on how they will play out are as follows:

Eighty-Eight, Late! (3-5) vs. Jo-Boo's Browns Backers (3-5)

This could be the biggest game of the week (I know I believe it is!) as two 3-5 teams fight to stay alive in the postseason chase. Jo-Boo has been heating up as of late, but so has Eighty-Eight, Late! Based purely on scoring output up to this point in the season, I have to give the nod to the good guys in a high scoring affair. Sorry 'bout dat Jo-Boo!

Bullseye (6-2) vs. The Savants (4-4)

This game is such a mismatch I don't even think it is appropriate to waste the space to make a prediction. Nevertheless, here it is: Bullseye 427, The Savants 3 (give or take a few points).

These two teams tied in their previous meeting, but this one won't be so close. Marshall will be lucky to keep this within 20 points.

Dippity Doo (5-3) vs. Corey Dillon The Ball Carrier (5-3)

A battle of two 5-3 teams who are tied at the top of their division. This should be a great game... if you like low scoring games where the winner is determined by which team does the least shittiest. I would have to say that Dippity Doo will be the shittier squad this week -- if their name is any indication.

The Fruit Baskets vs. PTP: Peyton's Trailerpark Posse!

Unfortunately for the Baskets, winning this game won't do that much for their playoff chances. But they're still going to win. Really, folks, they will!

That's it for this week...

Later,

The Commish