WEEK ONE REPORT     In a freakish display of improbability, the 2001 post-draft conference assignments resulted in the same five teams playing in the exact same divisions. This is the 3rd year in a row that we have had these conference assignments! But this year the overall result might be different...   The big news from Week One is that the Lip Conference won the lone interleague matchup and have a combined point total greater than that of their rivals, the Hair Conference. Good work, fellas!   The other big news was the season-ending (most likely) inury to Eighty-Eight, Late!'s first round draft choice - WR Ed McCaffrey. Perhaps they should have named themselves "Eighty-Seven, Late!"   And what happened to NGL©'s stellar group of wide receivers? Franchise star Randy Moss had one reception, first round pick Derrick Alexander had zero receptions and their scrub fill-in managed only 2 points. Having their QB Matt Hasselbeck struggle only added to their misery, as NGL© posted a league low 63 points in Week One.   Feature game of the week Bullseye (1-0) defeated Eighty-Eight, Late! (0-1), 110-94. This was supposed to be the year Bullseye got knocked back down to earth. After last year's championship season, many considered them to have a much weaker team in 2001 than they did in 2000. But they came out firing in Week One posting a league-leading 110 points and earning a key conference victory. As for Eighty-Eight, Late!, they may be in big trouble with the loss of McCaffrey. We'll have to see if J.J. Stokes or Marvin Minnis can fill the void.   Here are the rest of the results for Week One:   PTP: Peyton's Trailerpark Posse! (1-0) defeated Marshall's Maulers (0-1), 103-88. Look what happens when "The Bus" changes their name for the 1st time in five seasons! They appear to have a contender here, folks -- and based on their conference I think we can almost pencil them in for a playoff spot already. As for the Maulers, they got mauled. Maybe Marshall isn't as violent a man as their owner believes?    The Savants (1-0) defeated NGL© (0-1), 72-63. The anemic scoring in this contest does not bode well for either team going forward. Perhaps it was an abberation... perhaps it was a sign of more of the same to come... Either way, The Savants should be embarrased to accept this victory. Only Jo-Boo had a lower score than these two squads, and that should give everyone an idea of just how pathetic an effort both teams gave to start the season.    Dippity-Doo (1-0) defeated Jo-Boo's Browns Backers (0-1), 94-71. With RB Ahman Green, QB Brian Griese, and WR Marvin Harrison -- our youngest franchise might finally live up to the expectations that preceded their arrival to our league three seasons ago. Make no mistake, Dippity-Doo has some quality players. But they also have some gaping holes in their lineup. Nevertheless, after their opening week thrashing of Jo-Boo, I had to move them up in the power rankings. Also, I am running a pool on how long Terrell Davis stays healthy. So far, most entrants have his departure from the Broncos' starting lineup pegged at Week 5.     Corey Dillon The Ball Carrier (1-0) defeated The Fruit Baskets (0-1), 101-85. Picking up where they left off last season, Dillon & company won another divisional contest in impressive fashion. WR Jimmy Smith proved to be an excellent franchise decision (at least this early in the season). And speaking of franchise decisions, The Fruit Baskets might be tasting on sour grapes after their decision not to protect RB Ahman Green this season.     Next week should be interesting considering all games feature a team with a 1-0 record going head-to-head with an 0-1 team. Could get interesting very fast this season!    Taunt you all next week,        The Commish