WEEK SEVEN REPORT     The Hair Conference dominated this week's interleague contests outscoring the Lip Conference teams by an overall total of 601-386. In the process, the Hairs took 4 out of the 5 games from the Lips in Week Seven - with The Funhouse Slaps narrow win over The Savants being the lone Lip Conference victory. For the year, the Hair Conference now holds a 733 point scoring advantage as well as a 13-2 interleague record over their rival division.   A few records were also set this week: Bullseye set an all-time scoring mark of 156 points. The Endzone Dancers also had an exceptional week, scoring 143 points - which is the 4th best all-time weekly scoring total. These two teams each had a running back with 37 points this week, which gives them both a tie for 5th best all-time points scored by a RB. Also, Bullseye set a new all-time record for the biggest margin of victory as they defeated Team TBD by 94 points. Now that is some serious ass-kicking!     Site Update    The site has now been updated to include the following:   All-Time scoring Records by team and individual position players (found under the HISTORY section)    All-Time Win-Loss Records updated through Week Seven (found under the STANDINGS section)    All-Time Points Scored updated through Week Seven (found under the STANDINGS section)      Feature game of the week The Funhouse Slaps (4-3) defeated The Savants (3-4), 106-102    On Monday night, RB Fred Taylor needed only a few more rushing yards and a touchdown to give The Savants a one point victory over The Funhouse Slaps. And as the ball was handed off and the small back made his way into the endzone, you just know The Savants were excited... at least for a few seconds until they realized that Taylor had been replaced by 11-year veteran Anthony Johnson who was the one with the score. That's gotta hurt. The Funhouse Slaps once again managed to get very high scoring efforts from their RB tandem of Eddie George and Ricky Williams and now move into a 1st place tie in the Lip Conference. The Savants are now the lone Hair Conference team with a losing record as they remain in last place in the division. Perhaps they shouldn't have traded away D/ST St. Louis last week - as their 6 points would have been enough to give them a Week Seven victory. Coulda, woulda, shoulda...   Here are the rest of the results for Week Seven:   Santana's No Randy! TNT© (5-2) defeated Akili's All-Stars (4-3), 106-69. Without solid performances from any of their top players, the All-Stars were simply no match for Santana's No Randy! TNT© who won this contest rather easily. The All-Stars now fall into a tie for 1st place in the Lip Conference while Santana's No Randy! TNT© remains tied with three other teams for the Hair Conference lead.         Dirty Sanchez (5-2) defeated Jo-Boo's Browns Backers (0-7), 94-65. Dirty Sanchez' victory over the Browns Backers gave them their 3rd consecutive win as they remain tied for 1st place in the Hair Conference. The Browns Backers' 65 points were their most since the opening week. Perhaps their recent trade acquisition, WR Antonio Freeman, will give them a chance at a victory this year. They have 6 more games to pull off a miracle.   Bullseye (5-2) defeated Team TBD (1-6), 156-62. The 156 points scored this week by Bullseye is an all-time record. Unfortunately for them, it will forever be a tainted achievement - as their roster this season includes one of the best players in the game who was acquired through a cash purchase. Nevertheless, it was quite an impressive performance and one that may not be matched for a very long time.    The Endzone Dancers (5-2) defeated The Fat Bus (3-4), 143-84. The Bus needs some Roadside Assistance! By losing this week's game against The Endzone Dancers, they are now on a 3 game skid. Next week's matchup against Jo-Boo's Browns Backers couldn't have a come at a better time. By winning big, The Endzone Dancers kept pace with their fellow leaders atop the Hair Conference and have solidified their position as one of the teams to beat for this year's championship. The real question for this squad is how long their San Francisco 49ers-dominated roster can continue to rack up big fantasy points. It looks like Week Eight won't be the week they cool off, as the Niners travel to Carolina - where the Vegas oddsmakers have already forecasted a shootout!        That's it for this week, but make sure to check out some additional rules updates located under the RULES section of the site. It might be helpful for your team this week.    Late          The Commish