WEEK FOUR REPORT     After four weeks: four teams are 3-1, four teams are 2-2, and two teams are 0-4. For these two winless squads, the playoffs are nearly an impossibility - as each would most likely have to win 7 of their remaining 9 regular season games. One of the 0-4 teams, Team TBD, is currently in just their second FFL season. And after having played 17 games, they have won only 5 of them - a .294 clip! The other winless team, Jo-Boo's Browns Backers, has been in the league since its inception. And they are subject of this week's special report entitled "Jo-Boo's Destiny: The First Winless Season." (See below for the full report.)   Feature game of the week The Fat Bus (3-1) defeated Dirty Sanchez (2-2), 112-100    On Monday night, QB Peyton Manning's 44 points was more than enough to give The Fat Bus their first ever victory over Dirty Sanchez. It was a bitter ending to the interleague contest for Dirty Sanchez, as clean-cut Manning embodies those traditonal Utah values often associated with their opponent. Apparently, the "good guys" occasionally do come out on top. With the win, The Fat Bus improves to 3-1 and sits alone on top of the Lip Conference standings. Dirty Sanchez remains the 2nd highest scoring team in the league, yet falls into a last place tie in the Hair Conference. They have had more points scored against them than any other team in the league. Ouch!   Here are the rest of the results for Week Four:   The Savants (2-2) defeated Akili's All-Stars (2-2), 100-84. Without any decent running backs, Akili's All-Stars had no chance of defeating The Savants and QB Kurt Warner this week. It took a 23 point Monday night performance by WR Jimmy Smith to just make this score respectable. But, the All-Stars are still in good position in the Lip Conference. They have yet to lose a conference game, and they still get to face the Browns Backers twice this year. I think they will be back in the playoffs after a two-year hiatus. By winning their second straight game, The Savants have moved back to .500 for the year, just one game off the Hair Conference leaders. They should be in the playoff hunt all the way to the end... before they blow it in the last two weeks of the season.   The league was able to obtain an exclusive interview with the owner of The Savants right after the game. Click here for the unedited conversation in Real Audio.   Please Note: The above interview contains profanity and may not be suitable for all listeners. To get your free Real Player, download it from the Real Audio website.        Santana's No Randy! TNT© (3-1) defeated Team TBD (0-4), 88-82. What a difference a play makes! Trailing by just five points on Monday night, Team TBD's QB Mark Brunell had the ball on the 2 yard line in the very final seconds of the game. A touchdown pass would have given Team TDB enough points for a tie (they needed one more passing yard from their QB for another point), and set up a possible two-point conversion attempt for the win. But Brunell threw an interception and Team TBD is 0-4 on the year. It's almost kind of sad. Almost.   Bullseye (3-1) defeated Jo-Boo's Browns Backers (0-4), 112-59. There's not much to say about this matchup, as most of the league expected the Backers to embarrass themselves again. Bullseye remains the top scoring team in the league, and next week they face off against The Savants in a key Hair Conference contest. The Savants are already predicting a victory (see interview above) and I suspect Bullseye will not challenge those comments. You should expect their owners to issue a sand-bagging statement later in the week.    The Endzone Dancers (3-1) defeated The Funhouse Slaps (2-2), 93-88. There is something about Monday night that always seems to give the Funhouse a hard slap! Needing at least 10 points from WR Keenan McCardell in the last game of the week, The Funhouse Slaps watched in agony as QB Mark Brunell seemingly threw the ball only to his favorite target, Jimmy Smith. In the end, McCardell got only 5 points, and The Endzone Dancers walked away with the victory. With the win, the Dancers move into a 3-way tie on top of the Hair Conference. And they are showing some very early consistency - having scored in the 90's in all four of their games this year.         Jo-Boo's Destiny: The First Winless Season   Will Jo-Boo win a game this year? That's the question many are asking, and I must say - the answer is NO. Despite the obvious injuries to their top players this season (Galloway, Davis, Anderson, Ismail, Horn, Dyson) the Backers have more going against them than just losing players. Jo-Boo is angry! When RB Edgerrin James was sold for $135, the team's deity became enraged. He has already begun to punish the team for their illicit act, and I believe it will get worse before the year is over.   Already, there have been reports out of Homedale, Idaho that the owner of the Backers is contemplating retirement. The pressure is obviously mounting, as the weekly scores continue to break league futility records. The league will continue to follow this story, and provide updates when possible.   As you can see from the above results, the Hair Conference dominated the first full week of interleague games, and now have a 7-1 advantage in games aginst the Lip Conference. It looks like the Lips might just get only two teams into the playoffs this year, making their divisional games all the more important the rest of the way.    Taunt you all next week,          The Commish