WEEK TWO REPORT     Only one team broke the century mark in scoring this week, and that was none other than Akili's All-Stars. Behind Jimmy Smith's all-time FFL record of 47 points for wide receivers, the All-Stars managed to set the all-time "Highest Regular Season Team Point Total" record with 149 points! (Note: 4th and Joey, NGL© scored 155 points in the 1998 playoffs.)  It seems with this scoring outburst that Akili's All-Stars has officially handed over the duties of "league laughing stock" to Jo-Boo's Browns Backers. In Week Two, the Browns Backers narrowly avoided setting a new league record for futility, as it took a Monday night comeback by the N.Y. Jets QB Vinnie Testaverde to give the Browns Backers 45 total points for the week. As they now rank last in every league statistical category, one begins to ponder if the $135 was a high enough price for an owner to sell away his dignity.   Bullseye (2-0) defeated The Funhouse Slaps (1-1), 99-72. In an interleague matchup between two early season favorites, Bullseye came away with the easy victory, demonstrating a balanced scoring attack for the second consecutive week. They maintain a share of lead in the Hair Conference and after two weeks of play, sit alone atop the overall points standings. The Funhouse Slaps are now 0-4 lifetime against Bullseye, and the teams are not scheduled to play again in the regular season until next year. The loss also puts the Lip Conference at an 0-2 deficit versus the Hair Conference for the coveted interleague title. Next week, Bullseye will have to face Dirty Sanchez without their $135 man, RB Edgerrin James, who has a Week Three bye. The Funhouse Slaps will try to get back into the win column next week against Team TBD. Feature game of the week   Here are the rest of the results for Week Two:   Santana's No Randy! TNT© (1-1) defeated The Savants (0-2), 83-78. Things were looking extremely bleak for Santana's No Randy! TNT© on Sunday. First, QB Steve McNair was knocked out of his game with only a few points. The rest of the squad was putting up some very "Rueff-esque" numbers. It got so bad at one point, that Santana's No Randy! TNT© even made a sidebet that the squad wouldn't score more than 40 points. Of course, they lost the sidebet -- but they won their matchup with The Savants. I'm not quite sure how things turned around so quickly, but I can tell you this: The Savants are salty. They are bitter. They are chapped. They are 0-2. The loss was The Savants second consecutive 5-point defeat this season, and once again highlights the importance of having a solid draft.     The Endzone Dancers (2-0) defeated Dirty Sanchez (1-1), 97-84. There wasn't much endzone dancing going on in this matchup from either team. In fact, only one touchdown was scored between the teams 4 RBs and 8 WRs, and that was by Marshall Faulk - who pretty much is a lock to get one per game. The real difference in this game was The Endzone Dancers' K Mike Hollis who booted 5 FGs and racked up 21 fantasy points on the day. Next week The Endzone Dancers take on The Savants and Dirty Sanchez faces off against Bullseye - two meaningful Hair Conference matchups.     The Fat Bus (2-0) defeated Jo-Boo's Browns Backers (0-2), 94-45. The Fat Bus may have won this game, but they once again suffered a season-ending injury to a franchise player extremely early in the season. This year it is WR Michael Westbrook, who tore his knee after accumulating 5 fantasy points for the Bus in two weeks of play. The Browns Backers also have suffered their share of injuries the last few years, and this year is no exception. After their starting RB Terrell Davis was deactivated right before Sunday's kickoff, franchise WR Quadry Ismail left his game with a knee injury and may miss a few games. The Fat Bus may have the roster depth to overcome their injury, but the Browns Backers have very little chance of salvaging a winning season and keeping their 3-year streak of making the playoffs intact.     Akili's All-Stars (1-1) defeated Team TBD (0-2), 149-93. With the record scoring outburst, Akili's All-Stars has jumped from 10th place to 4th place on the FLL Power Rankings (Did I have a choice?). They also demonstrated what many league owners were already thinking - they have a solid corps of wide receivers and have a great chance of winning the Lip Conference this year. With the loss, Team "To Be Defeated" drops to a .333 all-time winning percentage, and raises some serious inquiries about the quality of football minds that hail from the Eastern Oregon town of Bordman.     Next week features some important matchups, so make sure to get your lineups in on time.    Commish out!