WEEK NINE REPORT
Memo to Scott's "All they Know How To Do Is Score" Savants: congratulations on being this week's recipient of the Monday Night Chisel! After Sunday, the Savants had a comfortable 10 point lead over P.O. Steve who only had D/ST Dallas Cowboys playing in Monday's game. But, the Cowboys shutout the Philadelphia Eagles 34-0, recorded three turnovers, and got a touchdown from Deion Sanders on a punt return. After all was said and done, the Savants lost their fifth game in a row and had their playoff chances severely damaged. Monday was the second time this season P.O. Steve has come back from a double digit deficit on Monday night with only D/ST Dallas Cowboys left - and won the contest. One more miracle and the Dallas D/ST should be cannonized.
   
Three other games were settled on Monday night. The Fat Bus trailed PPP: Gorilla Patch Junkies by 9 points heading into Monday night with only K Richie Cunningham remaining. On the opening drive of the game, Cunningham kicked a 33 yard field goal, but he managed only two P.A.T.s
for the remainder of the first half. In the second half, Cunningham managed only two more P.A.T.s and a 25 yard field goal giving The Fat Bus a total of 9 points from their kicker. As a result, both The Fat Bus and PPP: Gorilla Patch Junkies escaped the Monday Night Chisel and had their contest end in a tie. Both Jo-Boo's Browns Backers and T.T.M.F. Little Johnny needed at least 20 points from their remaining Dallas player to avoid a loss, but both came up a few points short. That gave Up Your Butt Jo-Boo and 4th and Joey, NGL© important wins in their quests to make the playoffs.
   
The only game that was decided on Sunday featured Rais'n the Rueff defeating The Murph Killers. Rais'n the Rueff, which has had a horrible year from their wide receivers, got an outstanding 52 point performance from their wideouts this week. The Murph Killers did not have as nice a game from their receivers, questioning their pre-season decision to franchise RB Curtis Martin instead of WR Antonio Freeman.
   
Here's a complete rundown of this week's games:
    
The Fat Bus (6-2-1) tied PPP: Gorilla Patch Junkies (4-4-1) with a score of 100-100. With Monday's 9 point performance by K Richie Cunningham, the Bus managed to salvage a tie despite getting only 2 fantasy points from starting QB Charlie Batch. Amazingly, the Junkies escaped Monday night without losing their game - which is a remarkable accomplishment for them! The tie allowed the Junkies to hold onto their slim 3rd place lead in the Hair Conference and a possible Wild Card playoff spot.
  
P.O. Steve (7-2) defeated Scott's...Savants (3-5-1) by the score of 85-81. With their miracle finish, P.O. Steve now has the best overall record in the league and is almost a lock to make the playoffs. Their magic number for making the postseason is now one - any combination of P.O. Steve wins or Scott's...Savants losses or ties totalling one will clinch a playoff spot. With the loss, the Savants lost their fifth game in a row and now have an uphill battle if they wish to compete beyond the regular season.
    
Up Your Butt Jo-Boo (3-6) defeated Jo-Boo's Browns Backers (5-3-1) by the score of 85-80. The win was a must for Up Your Butt, who still have an outside chance of qualifying for the postseason. For them, their playoffs begin next Sunday. The Browns Backers still maintain a one game lead for 2nd place in the Hair Conference.
   
4th and Joey, NGL© (5-4) defeated T.T.M.F. Little Johnny (2-7) by the score of 100-87. 4th and Joey is only in 3rd place in the Lip Conference, but leads the last two teams in the conference by 3 games each. It would take a minor miracle for them not to make the playoffs. By the same token, the Johnnies desperately needed to win this game and since they did not, they most likely will not get a chance to defend their Super Bowl title this winter.
  
Rais'n the Rueff (2-7) defeated The Murph Killers (6-3) by the score of 107-91. This win gives Rais'n the Rueff a little confidence boost, although it does nothing to improve their chances at the post season. They were mathematically eliminated a couple of weeks ago. With their loss, the Murph Killers fall to 2nd place in the Lip Conference, although they maintain their lead in the overall points race.
      
Taunt you all next week....
    
The Commish