WEEK EIGHT REPORT     The three teams tied with the best overall record heading into Week Eight all won decisively over the three teams with the worst records in the league. The parity of last year's league is definitely missing in 1998. With five games remaining in our thirteen game regular season schedule, two teams have been virtually eliminated from the playoffs, while four other teams are looking good for qualifying for the postseason.     Here is how this week's games turned out:     Jo-Boo's Browns Backers (5-2-1) defeated 4th and Joey, NGL© (4-4) 91-81. The Browns Backers surprised everyone with this victory, as a few of their players managed to silently rack up quality numbers. With the win, the Browns Backers remain in second place in the Hair Conference and end a two-game losing streak. 4th and Joey recorded their first loss in the last four games and dropped to .500, which is still good enough for 3rd place in the Lip Conference. WR Joey Galloway lived up to his billing as the team's namesake scoring 21 points, but his fellow wideouts, Randy Moss and Tony Martin, managed only 1 point each.     P.O. Steve (6-2) defeated Up Your Butt Jo-Boo (2-6) by the score of 106-90. P.O. Steve holds on to his slim lead atop the Hair Conference and remains tied with two other teams for best overall record. Their 106 points was tops in the league for Week Eight, and helps silence the critics who have pointed to their low overall scoring despite winning five of their first seven games. Up Your Butt remains in last place in the Hair Conference and this loss all but eliminates them from the playoffs. It is possible that they could win their last five games of the year and steal a wild card berth with a 7-6 record. Possible, but highly unlikely.     PPP: Gorilla Patch Junkies (4-4) defeated Scott's...Savants (3-4-1) by the score of 101-57. The Junkies have been on a roll winning three in a row and four of their five last games. If the running back duo of Eddie George and Corey Dillon can continue to post steady numbers, the Junkies will be a force to reckon with in the playoffs, especially with QB Brett Favre at the helm. The Savants' loss is their fourth straight, and further proves their trades early in the season were truly idiotic. They now fall to 4th place in the Hair Conference and with their serious lack of quality running backs and quarterbacks, it appears they are a long shot to make the playoffs.    The Murph Killers (6-2) defeated T.T.M.F. Little Johnny (2-6) by the score of 101-75. The Killers lead the league in overall points with 778, and are tied for best overall record. As of now, they are the favorite to win both the scoring and overall record titles, although we all know they historically melt down in the postseason. The Johnnies are definitely bumming after winning only two of their first eight games. As last year's Super Bowl champion, the Johnnies could go from first to worst in only one year.     The Fat Bus (6-2) defeated Rais'n the Rueff (1-7) by the score of 97-77. The Bus continues to roll despite the poor fantasy performances of franchise QB Kordell Stewart. At 6-2, they are tied for the best overall record and the best record in the Lip Conference. Conversely, Rais'n the Rueff continues their slide as they have won only once (Week Three vs. The Fat Bus) and have already been eliminated from the playoffs. One league owner, who wishes to remain anonymous, asked me yesterday if Rueff knows "that three of his QBs are not even playing anymore?" I have to assume the answer is "No."       Remember, the trading deadline is Wednesday, November 4th at 11:59 P.M. Good luck to all of you next week.     The Commish