WEEK FOUR REPORT     No, RB Priest Holmes of Baltimore is not available! T.T.M.F. Little Johnny, who picked up Holmes on Thursday morning, was about the only team not to call me this weekend to pick him up. Too bad for the Johnnies that they didn't play Holmes this weekend because if they had, then the Johnnies wouldn't have lost a squeaker to Scott's...Savants (t.t.m.f.!!!!).     Scott's...Savants victory was one of four Hair Conference wins this week over teams from the Lip Conference. The Fat Bus was the only Lip team (pun intended) to post a victory in the first week of complete interleague play. With the win the Bus moves into a first place tie with the Murph Killers at 3-1 while gaining a game on every team in their conference. By the same token, Up Your Butt Jo-Boo, the only team from the Hair Conference to lose this week, loses ground to their entire division. As if going 0-4 wasn't bad enough....    Surprisingly, PPP: Gorilla Patch Junkies did not get chiseled on Monday night! That's right, the Junkies manged to hold off Rais'n the Rueff's RB Barry Sanders (and another player - but he's so shitty that I won't even mention him here) and earn their first victory of the season.     Here's how this week's games turned out:    Jo-Boo's Browns Backers defeated the Murph Killers by the score of 111-72. With the win, the Browns Backers improve to 3-0-1 while handing the Murph Killers their first loss of the season. Since this will be the only regular season meeting between these two teams this year, one has to wonder why Tod & Eddie decided to stick with the name Murph Killers.       PPP: Gorilla Patch Junkies defeated Rais'n the Rueff by the score of 125-91. What an explosive week for the Junkies who moved out of the Hair Conference cellar and moved up 3 notches in overall points. Despite his prediction of a 2-2 start, Rueff's squad of Raisins (i.e. old people) fell to 1-3 and in a three-way tie for last place in the Lip Conference. At least WR Derrick Alexander scored this week. Two fantasy points that is.    The Fat Bus defeated Up Your Butt Jo-Boo by the score of 85-75. Up Your Butt needed a few more points from WR Johnny Morton in the Monday night game in their quest to earn their first win of the year. Unfortunately for them, Morton came up a bit short and Up Your Butt fell to 0-4 on the year with three of those losses coming in conference play. But don't count this team out yet, because they had a similar crappy start last year - and managed to get to the conference championship playoff game.    Scott's "All they Know How To Do Is Score" Savants defeated T.T.M.F. Little Johnny by the score of 115-113. The Johnnies had a chance to win the contest in Sunday's late game, but Doug Pelfrey fell 2 points short. With the win, the Savants improve to 3-0-1 while the Johhnies drop to 1-3. I wouldn't know, but I am assuming that scoring 113 points and losing your game feels below average.       P.O. Steve defeated 4th and Joey, NGL© by the score of 92-80. Once again, P.O. Steve's last active player came up with a clutch performance as top draft pick WR Carl Pickens validated his early selection. The win moves P.O. Steve to 3-1 on the year while 4th and Joey, NGL© drops to a surprising 1-3 record.    The Commish